I've been really lucky when it comes to the people around me: my mum's also a writer, and has supported and encouraged me in my
writing for a couple of decades now. And my husband, Paul, has always been hugely supportive of both my freelance writing and my fiction.
But ... a lot of writers aren't so lucky. They don't have any close friends or family who "get" it, and they desperately want the support of their loved ones.
If that's you, here are a few things you can try:
#1: Get Clear (With Yourself and Others) About What You Need
What
sort of support are you looking for?
Maybe you need your partner to give you the physical and mental space to write: it's understandably tough to focus if someone keeps wandering past to start up a conversation.
If you have young kids, you might need some very practical support: perhaps your partner or another relative could watch your kids for a couple of hours at the weekend so you could write.
If you're still in school and living at home with your parents, you might need help finding a quiet place to write, away from
siblings.
#2: Look for Emotional Support Elsewhere
Sadly, some people just don't "get" writers and writing. They can't understand why you'd want to do something that looks like (to them)
rather unrewarding hard work.
If that's the case for your partner (or best friend, roommate, parents, siblings, etc) then don't sit around waiting for them to change. Find other writers who you can get together with on a regular basis – perhaps in a local writers' group, or as part of an evening class, or in an online group.
If any mention of writing is met with doom and gloom ("what's the point, you'll never get published...") then don't talk to your loved ones about writing. It's really sad that they can't appreciate such a big part of your life, but it's unlikely that you're going to get the support and encouragement you need from them.
#3: Support Your Loved Ones in Their Goals
While they might not want to write, your friends and family probably have big goals of their own. Maybe they want to take up a new hobby, lose weight, travel the world ...
whatever it might be, try to find out what they (perhaps secretly) really want to do, and support them.
My husband and I have a regular weekly planning time where we discuss the goals we're working on and the progress we're making (or, quite often, not making!) It's a good opportunity to be accountable to one another, and also a
chance to connect with what's going on in one another's lives.
#4: Establish Set Writing Times
If your partner (parents/kids/etc) know that you're going to write at a specific time every
day or week, they'll soon get used to the routine. When my kids were smaller, I used to go and write for half an hour after they ate tea each day, and they quickly got used to that.
By writing at set times, you also show people that you are taking your writing seriously – which increases the chances that
they will too. You could start with something as simple as a writing hour (or even half hour) once a week. Of course, you can write at other times too! The point here is to start building a writing routine.
Things probably won't change overnight. But by
being clear about what you need and about how others can help, and by seeking out connections with other writers, you might start to get at least some of the support that you're looking for.
Don't forget, if you've bought anything from me, ever, you're entitled to free lifetime membership of the Aliventures Club group on
Facebook.
It's a safe, private place to chat with fellow writers about your work-in-progress (and your writing dreams and ambitions). You can join us here:
