One survey respondent asked me to write about:
When the finish line is there and you run the other way. Self sabotage when health holds you back and self belief.
Well, I definitely know the feeling of running in the wrong direction. It's very easy and often very tempting to tell yourself "I'm not ready..." or "I could never do that..." (and this is something I'll
be covering in the newsletter in a couple of weeks).
Self sabotage can be hard to spot at the time, but sometimes easier to see in retrospect. I've spent many years trying to get over my bad habit of starting too many projects at once, for instance.
Today, though, I want to focus a little bit on health here. I am acutely aware of how lucky I am that I'm not limited by any chronic physical or mental health issues. I have several writer
friends with chronic illnesses, including two with M.E. -- and I know that, when your energy is severely depleted and limited, it must be a real struggle to keep going.
The only experience I've had close to this is my pregnancies. When I got pregnant with Kitty, I was just coming out of a manic few months writing Publishing E-Books for Dummies. I had two weeks to get revisions done, got those in -- and then the first trimester tiredness
hit.
For a good couple of months, I could only manage to work for two - three hours a day. (I'd been planning to take on a bunch of new projects after the book was finished; happily, most could be postponed.)
Those months definitely made me appreciate how lucky I am to be in good health most of the time.
If you're going through a period of ill-health, though, or if you have a long-term health condition, here's what I'd
suggest:
#1: Get As Much Help As You Can
Don't waste precious energy on things that someone else could do for you. Ask for help with household chores, childcare, admin tasks ... whatever it might be. If you can afford paid help, that's great, but if not, you might be surprised how willing family / friends would be to pitch in.
#2: Use Your Best Hours of the Day
If
you normally feel fine in the mornings but exhausted after lunch, try to arrange things so you can write in the morning. (If that's not possible every day, could it work on weekends?)
#3: Take Good Care of Yourself
You know best what this looks like for you. It might mean getting enough downtime, taking a nap every day, eating the right sorts of foods, or doing some gentle exercise. It may also mean doing some writing purely for
fun.
#4: Get Support from Other Writers
If you can find other writers who're also struggling with health issues, that might be a good way to get some encouragement, support and validation. Since having kids, I feel acutely aware of how much more my child-free writing friends can get done -- but I know it's not healthy or sensible to constantly compare myself to them.
Writing is hard. If
you're hoping to build a writing career, that's harder. I can't tell you how many times I've held back, hesitated, worried, or changed my mind because I felt afraid.
In fact, I rarely meet writers who have a lot of self-belief (and, quite often, they're the writers who just haven't got far enough yet to realise how much there still is to learn).
What helps me, though, and what might help you, is to keep taking small, brave steps forwards. Make
them achievable, but go a little bit outside your comfort zone. Each little success reinforces that you can do it.
Best of luck. Keep writing, but go easy on yourself too. You don't have to race to the finish line: a steady walk will get you there too.
