One reader described their biggest challenge as: "Getting back on track and staying on track when life happens. Pregnancy. Kids. Day job."
Life does happen, doesn't it? I've
definitely noticed that over the past four years (two pregnancies, two babies ... now a preschooler and a toddler, plus a big move from Oxford to Leeds last summer so my husband could embark upon a full-time, funded PhD).
Sometimes, when life happens, you need to cut yourself a little slack.
I know some writing gurus would have you write, come what may ... but that's not always realistic, or healthy, advice.
If you do get
knocked off track by an unusually busy, or unusually stressful, bit of life happening to you, then:
#1: Don't Beat Yourself Up
When you're coming out of a stressful time, it's easy to look at all the weeks or months (or even years) of not-writing and feel hugely guilty.
Maybe you feel like you should've tried harder.
Maybe you think that a real writer would have
written anyway (despite the baby, the sleepless nights, the busy job...)
#2: Set Aside Half an Hour to Reconnect with Your Writing
If you've not been writing for a while, you might
struggle to remember where you'd even got to. Perhaps you were part-way through a novel ... but you're not sure exactly how much is left to write. Maybe you were blogging ... but you don't know whether you want to continue.
Set aside some quiet, focused time to (a) look back at what you have and (b) think about how you want to move forward.
Maybe you'll find that manuscript is closer to finished than you previously
thought.
Maybe you'll decide that you do want to keep blogging.
#3: Make a Sensible Commitment to Your Writing
After I became a parent, it took me a while to realise (and to acknowledge) that I couldn't set myself the same sort of goals that I'd had pre-kids. I needed to move more slowly with my writing, tackle one thing at a time, and commit to small regular steps rather than sporadic
marathons.
What could you realistically commit to? What amount of writing time would make you feel happier and less stressed ... rather than piling the pressure on?
For me:
- I work on my non-fiction writing and business admin while I have childcare (normally, about 10 hours per week).
- I write fiction for 30 minutes most days, between the kids' teatime and their bathtime (my husband is almost always home from uni at this
point).
- Most Sunday evenings, I have a "writing hour" between 8pm - 9pm to work on my fiction.
When I had a toddler and a small baby, and I was on maternity leave, sometimes all the writing I could manage was in 15 minute slots. Even that little bit of writing helped keep me sane! The words really did add up, too -- I blogged about that in
If You've Only Got 15 Minutes, Is It Even Worth Writing?
Once you're writing again, in terms of staying on track:
#1: Have
a regular writing slot at a specific time, if you possibly can. This may not be your ONLY writing slot, but it should be something you can commit to every single week (with perhaps exceptions for holidays, etc). E.g. perhaps you always write between 8pm and 9pm every Monday evening, and you also aim to write on another couple of evenings a week. That one weekly slot can be enough to keep you going during a difficult, busy patch of
life.
#2: Find a way to regularly review your progress. I talk about my key goals with my husband once a week, which (a) helps keep me motivated and accountable and (b) lets me quickly spot if a particular goal is getting off-track. In the past, when I've written goals for the year and intended to review them myself ... I'd inevitably find I'd forgotten all about them within a month or two.
Best of
luck!
If you have a question or topic you'd like me to cover in the Aliventures newsletter, just hit reply on this email to let me know.
