As a writer – in fact, as a human being! – there will be plenty of times when you're asked for a favour.
You always have the right to say "no".
And if you feel that you're being "selfish" or "mean" if you do so, I'm hoping I can change your mind.
In the context of writing, default to "no" when:
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A new potential client seems like they're going to be a pain to work with (e.g. they want daily phone calls or they've tried to haggle on price).
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People ask you to write for them for free. Now, you may well want to do a small amount of free work as a volunteer (I do this for my son's preschool, for instance), or you may be getting something useful other than money ... but generally, your response to being asked to write for free should be "no".
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Someone wants you to do something that would use up valuable writing time – e.g. if you're asked to be on a committee, or volunteer regularly for their organisation. You're always allowed to say "no", however good the cause.
You don't need to offer an explanation for saying "no". You can just tell someone, "That doesn't work for me." If they pressure you and try to persuade you, that is a great validation of your no! They've just shown that they're someone who'll push at your boundaries. Use this as an excellent chance to practice sticking to what you've already said.
Of course, there are plenty of times in your writing life when you might need to nudge yourself towards saying "yes". Here are a couple of key ones:
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"Yes, I'll submit my story (article/pitch/etc)." Maybe you feel really nervous about sending your work out there into the world – I absolutely understand, because I've felt the same way so many times! But say "yes" rather than "no" to submitting: otherwise, there's no chance an editor can turn round and say "yes" to you. :-)
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"Yes, I deserve some time to write." It can be so very easy to put writing time at the bottom of your "to do" list – as a reward, maybe, for when everything else is done. But if your life is at all busy, chances are, you never really get to the end of your to-do list. Quick reminder: you do deserve time to write, even if there are other things you could be doing, and even if you're writing for pure enjoyment or
as an exercise, rather than with an end result like publication in mind.
What do you need to say "no" to this week? (That might mean refusing to take on something new, or changing your mind about something you're already doing.)
What could you say "yes" to in your writing life?
If your "yes" is to "more writing time", don't forget that as a newsletter member, you have access to my mini-ebook Time to Write: How to Fit More Writing iIto Your Busy Life, Right Now. You can download it, along with the other mini-ebooks, here:
Password: alinewsletter (all one word)
